Letter to a lost lover

I can't help but wonder how things could've worked out better.

I look at the girls you've dated and realize that I am unique in many ways to each one of them.

What attracted me to you then is the same thing that attracts me to you now. If I could keep you locked up and have you whenever I wanted I think that is the only way we'd ever work out.

I hold on to the memories of a boy and girl who experienced so much together. Looking at you now I know that we have nothing in common but a first loved we shared.

I've gone over this situation for what has to be close to a million times. Trying to figure out ways that we could work - ways we could be together. And all I can come up with is it will have to be in another life.

Your past and my future don't share a single thing in common. My future is planned for me one way or another. And your past is a disaster. But nothing from my past will hinder my success for more success and achieving the things I want out of life. However your past will effect everything you do or want to do for the rest of your life.

For a long time I dreamt of spending our lives together. Raising a beautiful family. Being financially stable. And the most important thing - being with the only person I have truly loved. I realized that you will never be able to give me one of those things and that I will never be able to give you perhaps the most important part of a relationship - trust.

Every time you don't answer your phone, every time your 10 minutes late and every time you blow me off to hang out with your friends I can't help but assume the worst.

I hate accusing you but I fear that the first time I trust you you'll take it as an advantage and then fail me again.